There is an alarming trend that I am noticing among those who want to justify their whatever-phobia, hatred, bigotry....etc.
An attack on and blame of "political correctness". "If it wasn't for this PC bulls$&% such and such would've never happened" translation "I would like to cast my fears, insecurities and hate on others because they are different than me" Political correctness means to not alienate, offend or disadvantage a group of people within society on the basis of the way they choose to live their life, their economic status, skin color ...etc. now, some will mockingly say "will then why do we put criminals in jail? That's the way they chose to live their life and we need to be PC and respect that" and get a little grin on their face as they think to themselves "I sound wicked smart". Listen, once someone's rights infringe upon those of another (yours on theirs or theirs on yours) then there is no such a thing as PC in the eyes of the law. The term, more often than not, is used to defend those who consider themselves in the category of "us" against whatever target of their hate/racism/bigotry might be. How? Go back to the example above, the ones that say "If it wasn't for this PC bulls$&% such and such would've never happened" would use this line of thinking after a brown/black/Muslim/Gay/other person does something criminal. They would not use that same line when a big, burley, supposed man hides behind a gun and waves it in the faces of those "other"
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This work-life balance is a myth.
Actually, I think it is downright harmful. It is a subtle yet dangerous trap because It gives the impression that you must balance everything else that we call life with work. It puts an undue burden on the individual as he/she tries to achieve this un-achievable goal. In my humble opinion, everyone has a reward system and everyone must understand their reward system. Your reward might be through work, promotion, raise....etc. Your reward might be recognition or fame; It might be a particular individual or a divine entity. It might shift from time to time and place to place. The key is to understand your own reward system, with its pros and cons, and use it to your advantage. Reflect on what it is that makes you happy. What it is that you do without prompting, without being asked, without hesitation. Focus on that and work everything else around it. That's how you achieve comfort in the imbalance that exists in each of our lives. That's how you can maintain yourself and maintain your sanity. Of course, that is just my opinion Two people. Each standing on the opposite side of a wide river. They can almost make each other out from such a distance. Both have figured that it is another person on the other side of the river but can't quite see them fully. They try to communicate. Yelling? Ineffective as no matter how much one yells the other cannot hear Signals? You have to understand the meaning behind the signal to understand what the other is saying. Each thinks, what to do? what to do? Eventually one of them starts building something on their bank. The other one watches curiously. That person continues to build while the other watches. A little while later, the one watching figures it out and starts building on their bank. They both continue to build until eventually they meet in the middle. They chat, get to know one another and eventually embrace before they part ways. A while later, two other people on the opposite sides of a wide river notice each other and notice that they can now simply walk over to each other and get to know one another A house, with a family inside of it, is set ablaze. People gather and start screaming "fire! Fire! The house is on fire!!"
Scenario 1: Everyone keeps shouting "Fire!" The house burns down. The family dies. People look shocked and start the "why the heck hasn't anyone done anything?" And direct the blame and their fingers at whoever they deem is responsible for not rescuing the family. Scenario 2: Crowd shouts "Fire!" One person rushes into the burning house Scenario 2.1: said person gets stuck in the house and dies with the family. People hail him as a courageous man/woman and are deeply saddened by the tragedy but feel inspired by the courage of the selfless person who ran into the burning house. Scenario 2.2: said person rescues the family and is hailed a hero by the gathered crowd. Emboldened by his/her courage they run into the next burning building and scenario 2.1 is the inevitable probability. Scenario 3: a person watches the house burn, crowd scream at him/her "Do something! Do something!" But he/she continues to watch the house burn. Then at a seemingly sudden moment he/she runs into the burning house and emerges a few minutes later with the family. House burns down. Some within the crowd hail said person a hero while others blame him/her for not jumping in right away and rescuing the family sooner and potentially saving the house from burning down. Said person, unbeknownst to most, took a calculated risk but needed time to make the calculations and ensure safety for all. Moral of the scenarios? Most people will look at you and expect you to do something while they themselves are complacent. Don't be like them. Also, don't Jump into the burning house because it could spell your demise. Be wise and understand inherent risks and potential benefits and your courage will end up benefiting others. Oh and, don't be the (_____) that sets the house on fire in the first place. You're in a store and notice a rope that's on sale. You really don't need it but think "why not" and buy it since it's a good deal. On the way home with your wife, you notice the car in front of you has a mattress and box spring tied to its roof. It was especially windy that morning and your wife says "I don't think that's gonna hold". A few minutes later, the mattress and box springs come flying off the roof of the car in front of you and thankfully they land on the side walk of the busy street and no one is hurt.
You stop. Get out of the car. Help the visibly shook man get his mattress and box spring back to the car and bring that rope you just picked up to help him tie things back up. The man apologizes profusely stating that the straps he usually uses were a little short this time and he opted for the twine given to him by the mattress store. The twine did not hold with the wind and snapped resulting in a near accident. He tries to pay you for the rope but you refuse and you drive behind him the half a mile that's left for his journey home. I was the man driving the car with the mattress and box springs on top. The man that stopped to help was a complete stranger that saw a man in need of help and pulled off to the side of the road to lend a hand. He shared with me the story about the rope and what his wife said as I stated above. A seemingly random act that was not random at all. An act of kindness that was simply that, an act of kindness. He stopped right away to help. Which tells me that he did not hesitate for a second to think about whatever label that can be put upon me "stranger, Muslim, immigrant, man....etc". He just thought, I would not hesitate to assume, "a person is in need and I can help" May God bless this man and shower him with His mercy. I never partook in the new year resolution hype but I think this time I am going to make an exception.
Reflecting back on last year, and especially the last few months, I have come to realize that I quite often and quite easily lose my "anchor" and get lost into the stormy seas of social media. I find myself preoccupied with what is going on in the world and lose sight of mine. There is a flood of information that comes through a Facebook feed and it's all within hand reach and just a click away. Now I am not knocking social media. I have learned, and continue to learn, a great deal about many important issues and I am more up to speed with current topics because of it. But the amount of emotional energy I find myself investing in this process is creating an imbalance that is setting me in a personally unfavorable direction. So I have decided on a new year's resolution and I am calling it "sacred times". Times during the day in which my phone will not be in my pocket and I will not be checking Facebook or any other social media. Those are the times that I am at home and the kids are awake. Times that I am at work, phone checking will only be during lunch time or an extended break. These times are sacred because these are the times during which I make sure that my anchor is firmly placed and that my world is the one that I can immediately impact and from it is where I can stand on solid grounds to be able to impact others. I wish you all a safe, happy and blessed #NewYear You need to read this, especially if you live in Fort Wayne, and file it under "there is hope in the world still" So today I was at the Fort Wayne Halal Meat and Grocery store on Hobson and State st. A local small business owned by a beautiful Burmese family of a husband, wife and their ever so welcoming 2 &1/2 year old son. They provide all kinds of groceries but fill in a particular niche market by providing all kinds of spices, Asian delicacies and Islamically prepared meat that is cut and cleaned to order in their impeccably clean room. Everyone there greets you with a smile, helps you take your groceries to the car if your hands are full and always have ready a sweet treat for your young child. What's your point Ahmed? Well, today I stumbled upon yet another thing this store does. I saw the owner discretely pull out a book and without changing her tone of voice, or the smile on her face, speak with a young Burmese family. When I got up to the counter, I asked "is this an IOU book?" And she said "yes, do you need help brother?" I said "no but I would like to help" This is a family owned, local, small business, with a small budget but a humongous heart. They live the prophetic teaching of Mohammad (peace be upon him) who said "wealth is never decreased by charity" granted, this is not charity but they do end up forgiving some money when the going gets even tougher. I share this because I want to highlight my favorite things about local business; Their big hearts and the positive impact they have on their community. I also want to let you know that they are Muslim and, in this case,refugees. Please stop by and support them by doing some shopping there and if you happen to have a little extra then maybe consider picking up someone else's tab (by the way, I saw the book and people who have IOU's are paying their debts off and not just abusing this family's generosity. The couple also knows the backstory of every IOU) Some food for thought this morning I find the article below fascinating and I highly encourage you to watch the short video. Here is the scoop: 6 photographers, 1 person to photograph. Each photographer was "told a bit about the subject, whose name is Michael. The fictional back stories on Michael ranged from him being a self-made millionaire to a hero, ex-inmate, fisherman, psychic and a former alcoholic." Each photographer captured the same subject from a completely different point of view and the pictures varied dramatically. Now some said "It would have been more accurate if they were all told the same story and asked to photograph him and see the variety there" I disagree. That may be true if you are choosing between photographers to see who would be the best one to take a picture of you but this illustrates, to me at least, something more profound. It is the power of the narrative. A couple of fictional lines about the subject changed dramatically how he was viewed. They did ask the subject questions to better understand him but that was within the paradigm of the narrative previously given to them about him. This is true in everything we do in our day to day lives. How you view the black teen walking down the street with a hoodie is different than how you view a white teen doing the same thing. Think of your view of Muslims, Jews, Native Americans or the person at the corner of the road asking you for some spare change. Or, for my friends involved in healthcare, think of the person wearing raggedy clothes coming into your clinic/pharmacy complaining of pain. What's your first thought? What about the one that rolls up in a Cadillac to your drive through window at the pharmacy and hands you a medicaid card. Could they possibly be borrowing a friend's car? Or maybe, they lost everything they own in the current downturn of the economy and the Cadillac is the only thing they still possess? Their only means of transportation?Most often than not we view them all through a lens and, unfortunately, for a lot of us we have that lens put in front of our eyes instead of choosing our own. Create your own perspective by creating your own lens. Create your own lens by getting to know the person you are dealing with rather than accept what you are being told about them. Something to reflect on http://www.shutterbug.com/content/lab-pushes-boundaries-photography-decoy#5GPmU2z8HUuJQdkz.97 Life at work can get hectic often. Shocking!!...... I know. We all go through some stressful times at work. Whether we are running from one meeting to the next, staying up late to meet certain deadlines or dealing with changes that are, many times, outside of our control. We all experience a certain degree of stress that ebbs and flows in our professional lives. All that takes a toll on us, our psyche and morale; we get frustrated, tired, and feel overwhelmed. All of which are natural responses to stressors that push us to question our career choices and/or the environment in which we work. We seek validation for expending so much emotional energy and ask ourselves "Why do I work here?", "What's the point of doing all of this ?", "I wonder what kind of other job opportunities are out there?" and most of us would then search for answers to these questions. Some might look for a mentor to help them navigate through it, others might look at the end result of the project causing the stress or the financial reward that would come from going through such period. While others might look at the work environment and decide that it is green enough right where they stand just as others, unfortunately, might not see a way through these periods except out. I have gone through a lot of the same frustrations and struggles and asked myself the same questions many times. I have looked for answers in many different ways, sometimes at different places, and as I grew professionally I developed a variety of coping mechanisms. Recently however, the most successful weapon in my armamentarium has been........a bag of chips. Yup, a bag of chips! the one pictured above to be exact. See, a couple of years ago I ran into one of my colleagues at the vending machine at work. We were both reaching for the same kind of chips and had a good chuckle about how we both indulge in such a guilty pleasure. A couple of weeks later, I bought a couple of bags and went up to his office for a quick break. We chatted as we enjoyed the jalapeno crunchy goodness. A little while later, I walked into my office only to find a bag of chips on my desk. I knew exactly who it was from and the gesture brought a huge smile to my face. From that moment on, this became our norm. And the chips exchange became more and more meaningful because we started leaving it for each other at the times when we knew that the other needed a little "hey, you're doing a good job and will get through this". It's not the chips itself (although I do thoroughly savor a good bag of jalapeno chips) but the gesture behind the bag. The thought that someone else sees how hard you're working and appreciates it. The thought that there is someone to listen to you if needed. Many a times it's the little things that make a big difference. A thank you note to someone, or a "hey let's grab lunch" or even a bag of chips would get someone out of their funk and break them out of their cycle of stress. Be that person to your colleagues and I am certain that the favor will be returned and work will begin to feel less like....work. |
AuthorPalestinian, Muslim, American, Husband, Father, Academic, Pharmacist, Coffee Addict, Nutella phene, Pseudo writer, Soccer player, former Canadian, Community servant, Pinch hitter imam, interfaith ninja, Intellectual vigilante, and the undisputed KING of snark Archives
November 2023
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