The unrealistic expectation of perfection

One of my biggest insecurities and the thing that I have been struggling with for the past 22 years is the expectation of perfection.


Part of it is self inflicted; I don’t want to disappoint so I strive to be perfect in school, at work and even when playing soccer! That drive can be healthy when honed and matured after one inevitable faces failure. I failed, it sucks and I struggled/still struggle with that failure but I learned/am learning to temper my expectations of perfection and with a strong support system I can grow as a person.


That healthy drive becomes destructive when others expect that from those who show an ounce of promise. We do this most to the ones we’re closest to and the ones who we consider to represent us. We mold them into this image of perfection, we exalt them and rob them of the chance to display any humanity. We are threatened by any deviation they may display of the image we have created for them and project our failures and shortcomings on them. We don’t allow them the opportunity to learn and grow and many times we kick them while they’re down.


I notice this a lot with my fellow Muslims and Arabs, especially if they are immigrants. We do this a lot to our own kith and kin. But this is not exclusive to us (or the minority group) as the majority is also culpable in their expectations of perfection from whomever they consider a representative of the minority. I am to be a perfect Muslim, a perfect Arab, a perfect Immigrant because all those whom you consider me to represent will be judged by my actions.


People are not God. Give them back their humanity