It’s not just what you say

“You can. End of story”

These few simple words were on the desk of one of our program’s administrative assistants and they made me stop and think.

To her, these are motivating words. She’s telling herself that she can overcome whatever mental block, doubtful inside voice or obstacle that is preventing her from achieving her goals (whether work related or not). They are beautiful and motivating.

What made me stop and think however is how these words would come across if I was the one saying them to her.

Think about it for a quick second. I’m her boss’s boss (just giving you perspective here, not being arrogant or boastful). If I were to say to her:

“You can. End of story”

How would she receive it?

The answer to that depends on the kind of leader one is, the context in which the words are spoken and the tone and body language by which they are delivered.

I can say them with authoritative vigor and she’d feel stressed and belittled.

I can say them with a nurturing tone and supportive candor and she’d feel valued

The words are the same but their weight and impact varies drastically

Have a blessed Friday