Blog Posts

I sent my soul

12/13/2016

I have no words to express how I feel about Syria in general and Aleppo in particular so I will share my rough translation of this poem by a man who was forced to flee his village a few years ago. Please read it and listen to him recite it to get the full emotional experience that is lost in translation.

I sent my soul

I sent my soul to our house
To roam around it, since our steps have no way to get back to it,
To ask the house if it still remembers us or has it forgotten since its inhabitants fled
To ask the ceiling if it is still standing. Above the wall,
Triumphant no matter what they do or has it knelt down to the earth in prostration, venting to God in sadness and supplicating
To ask the palm tree if its sleeves have ripened.
To ask the figs and olives, intertwined, are the fruits from the vines hanging low
just like pearls
Or is the blackberry tree and the branches, stretched out and heavy with its delectable load
It is a distant hope, oh house of ours, that life will again become tranquil
and the dispersed become, after such separation, whole
But my soul shall remain its inhabitant
Despite that nothing remains in Atmah, not a sheep nor camel
If I die, oh house of mine, or time keeps us apart for long
Then patience, oh house of mine,
Our patience shall not weaken
For after every dark night, a dawn shall break through
And light will shine brilliantly as darkness subsides
And justice shall prevail,
high above all creation
It's white flags are not deceiving nor belying
Traces of morning are bringing glad tidings
No signs of idolatry will remain in the open
The beginning of victory is to destroy the idols
As our prophet did, whose example we follow
In Hama, stepping on their heads with their shoes, a jackass climbs up and replaces their idol
Oh how they took us for cattle
For no men amidst us can take the reigns

أرسلت روحي إلى داري تطوف بها
لما خطانا إليها ما لها سبلُ
أن تسأل الدار إن كانت تذكرنا
أم أنها نسيت إذ أهلها رحلوا
أن تسأل السقف هل مازال منتصبًا
فوق الجدار شموخًا رغم ما فعلوا
أم أنها ركعت للأرض ساجدة
تشكو إلى الله في حزن وتبتهل
أن تسأل النخل هل أكمامه نضجت
أن تسأل التين والزيتون متصل
أما القطوف من الأعناب دانية
مثل اللآلئ كالحوراء تكتحل
أم شجرة التوت والأغصان فارعة
ناءت بحمل وقد طابت بها الأكل
هيهات يا دار أن تصفو الحياة بنا ويرجع الجمع بعد النأي مكتمل
لكن روحي ستبقى فيها ساكنة
ما لي بأطمة لا شاة ولا جمل
إن مت يا دار أو طال الفراق بنا
فالصبر يا دار لا يضعف لنا أمل
لابد لليل من صبح يبدده
ويسطع النور والظلماء ترتحل
ويرجع الحق فوق الكون عالية
راياته البيض لا كفر ولا دجل
علائم الصبح قد لاحت مبشرة
لم يبق في الساح لا عُزَّى ولا هُبَل
فأول النصر للأوثان نكسرها
فعل الخليل وفعل المصطفى مثل
أو في حماة يدوس النصب نعلهم والجحش يصعد عن تمثالهم بدن
يا للتفاهة ظنوا أننا بهم
ما للصدارة في أوساطنا رجل

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Without a why من غير ليه

8/16/2016

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We come into this world not knowing why
nor where are we going
nor what we want

Journeys..... journeys.....mapped out for our steps
We walk them in the strangeness of our nights
One day they make us happy
and another day......they hurt us
And we, we simply don't know why...why
And as we came....we came
not in our hand....yet we still came

Just as your eye lashes have taken hold of my nights
and controlled them
and controlled me
And I found my home,
after a long estrangement,
to be this heart of yours.
And those eyes of yours.

And I found my soul
in the embrace of your heart
I dream......
and I wake up.....
and I live......
upon your love

Even at the height of my torment,
I love you
You know why?
Without a why
Without a why, oh my love,
I love you

Oh you.....whom my life has thrown in the ocean of their eyes
and forgot about me
And said to me...... forget me

The ocean of your eyes, my love, is drowning
But in it..........are the best nights of my life
I got lost, and my world was lost from me,
Between my happiness
and between my sadness

My world is a song...no
A sigh...no
No.......something else,
something else

My world is your love
Something I touch....I feel.....I see
But no descriptors, no descriptors.....can describe it

And I dream,
if I close my eyes
Beautiful dreams.....rosy dreams
In it are eyes...cheeks....lips
That fly me ...above my nights
That fly me....above...above my dreams

But when I see you
I find you prettier than dreams
All the dreams

Oh you whose eyes kept the world awake
And whose eye lashes embraced the dawn and slept

And why is it, I wonder, what's happening
is happening to me?

And when I think of serving you more of that love....served to me by the nights of of love
I find no happiness that crossed my mind,
except that it was your love made my life ever so happy

And just as we came,......we came
Not in our hands.....yet we came

My love, oh my love
Everything about you, oh my love, is my love
Your hair is my night
Your forehead is my moon
Your love, is the journey of my life....and my destiny

My nights became beautiful
My life became beautiful
And everything in the universe....became beautiful

But here....a sigh...sigh
In the heart that has never been empty of fear
that says oh happiness ...slow down
For whoever is struck with love, regardless of how happy he becomes is still stricken

I am afraid
I am afraid that the birds of love will abandon their nests and go far away
I am afraid that the sea of warmth
On a wintry night
will become......ice

I am afraid that tomorrow
A road of agony will take us
A road where lovers have gotten lost
Many lovers
Many before us
I am afraid...afraid

Yes..... I know
I know,
why all this fear of tomorrow......my love
I know,
what's the reason for my torment and bewilderment......my love

Because you are the soul of the world in which I live
And without you
All my life will lose.........will lose its meaning

It is incomprehensible
Incomprehensible
That the destiny that guided me to your love
Will one of those days keep us apart
Incomprehensible

Our love, oh my life, would become so hard
and forget it's lovers
After we were
for nights on end
in its embrace
For us to once again be standing at its door

Leave oh sadness........leave
Leave oh sadness and do not ever come near us
We are lovers whose love is keeping them happy
And love is our soul,
our earth
and our sky

So tell me oh sadness, from where will you get to us

At our house, in love the stars are gathering
At our door is a rosy bush...beautiful....beautiful and blooming
On our window, a thousand candles are lit
Lit, so tell me oh sadness from where will you get to us?

Oh my heart's eyes,
oh most beautiful of eyes
Let's live and enough with the doubts
Let us make our entire life
Our entire life,
a night
A night that is far far away from loss
From sadness

And if anyone blames us
We tell them that how
without love
will this life have any humans

Author: Morsi Jameel Aziz 1977
Song: Mohamed Abdul Wahab

جاين الدنيا ما نعرف ليه
ولا راحين فين
ولا عايزين ايه
جاين الدنيا ما نعرف ليه
ولا راحين فين
ولا عايزين ايه
مشاوير .. مشاوير .. مرسومة لخطاوينا
نمشيها في غربة ليالينا .. مشاوير
مشاوير .. مشاوير .. مرسومة لخطاوينا
نمشيها في غربة ليالينا .. يوم
يوم تفرحنا .. ويوم تجرحنا
واحنا ولا احنا عارفين ليه .. ليه .. ليه
وزي جينا .. جينا .. ومش بإدينا

زي ما رمشك خد لياليا وحكم وامر فيها وفيا
ولقيت بيتي بعد الغربة قلبك ده وعيونك ديا
ولقيت روحي في أحضان قلبك
بحلم وأصحى وأعيش على حبك
حتى في عز عذابي بحبك
عارف ليه .. من غير ليه
عارف ليه .. من غير ليه
من غير ليه .. آه يا حبيبي بحبك

يلي زماني رماني .. رماني في بحر عنيك ونساني
وقالي أنساني
بحر عنيك يا حبيبي غريق .. لكن فيه أحلى ليالي زماني
تهت وتهات دنيتي مني .. دنيتي مني .. دنيتي مني
بين أفراحي .. وبين أشجاني
دنيتي غنوة لا .. تنهيدة لا
لا شيء تاني .. لا شيء تاني
دنيتي حبك .. دنيتي حبك
حاجة لامسها .. حاسسها .. حاجة شايفها
لكن ولا أوصاف توصفها .. ولا أوصاف توصفها
وأحلم لو غمضت عنيا
أحلام حلوة كتير وردية
فيها عيون .. وخدود وشفايف
بتطير بيا .. فوق لياليا
بتطير بيا فوق لياليا
بتطير بيا .. فوق .. فوق لياليا
اما بشوفك الاقاك أحلى الاحلام
كل الاحلام .. كل الاحلام
يلي عنيك سهرت الدنيا
ورمشك حضن السحر ونام
حضن السحر ونام
وده ليه يا ترى يجرالي الي جرى
وده ليه يا ترى .. يجرالي الي جرى
واما بفكر اسقيك اكتر ما بتسقيني الحب
ليالي الحب .. ليالي
ملقاش فرحة جت على بالي
الا وحبك فرح حالي
واما بفكر اسقيك اكتر ما بتسقيني الحب ليالي الحب ليالي الحب
ملقاش فرحة جت على بالي .. الا وحبك فرح حالي
وزي ما جينا .. جينا
جنيا ومش بإدينا .. بإدينا
زي ما رمشك خد لياليا وحكم وامر فيها وفيا
ولقيت بيتي بعد الغربة قلبك ده وعيونك ديا
ولقيت روحي في أحضان قلبك
بحلم وأصحى وأعيش على حبك
حتى في عز عذابي بحبك
عارف ليه .. من غير ليه
عارف ليه .. من غير ليه
من غير ليه .. آه يا حبيبي بحبك

حبيبي .. حبيبي
آه يا حبيبي
حبيبي .. حبيبي
آه آه يا حبيبي
كل ما فيك يا حبيبي حبيبي
كل ما فيك يا حبيبي حبيبي
اه شعرك ليلي .. جبينك قمري
حبك رحلة عمري .. وقدري
ليلي حلي .. عمري حلي
ليلي حلي .. عمري حلي
وكل شيء في الكون حلي
لكن هنا .. تنهيدة .. تنهيدة
في القلب .. الي من الخوف اه ما خلي
تقول يا فرحة اتمهلي ..
ده المبتلي بالحب
مهما اتهنى .. مهما اتهمنى
برضو .. برضو ذليل

خايف طيور الحب تهجر عشها .. عشها
وترحل بعيد
خايف على بحر الدفى
ليلة شتى .. يصبح جليد .. جليد
خايف لبكرة يجينا تاخدنا
سكة عذاب تاه فيها أحباب
أحباب كتير .. كتير قبلينا
خايف .. خايف
آه .. عارف .. عارف
عارف كل الخوف من بكرة ده ليه يا حبيبي
عارف سر عذابي وحرتي ده ايه يا حبيبي
علشان انت الروح للدنيا الي بعيش بيها
وانا من غيرك .. كل حياتي حياتي تضيع .. تضيع معانيها

مش معقول .. مش معقول يا حبيبي يا حبيبي
ابدا ابدا مش معقول
القدر الي هداني بحبك يوم من الايام
من الايام يبقى عزول
مش معقول .. مش معقول
حبنا يا حياتي .. يقدر يقسى وينسى أحبابه
بعد ما كنا في حضنه ليلاتي
نرجع تاني نقف نقف على بابه
روح .. يا حزن
روح يا حزن روح
روح يا حزن اوعى تقرب لينا
ده احنا حبايب .. حبنا ما هنينا
والحب روحنا وارضنا وسمانا
ويا حزن قول لي منين بقى حتجينا
روح .. يا حزن
روح يا حزن روح
روح يا حزن اوعى تقرب لينا
ده احنا حبايب .. حبنا ما هنينا
والحب روحنا وارضنا وسمانا
ويا حزن قول لي منين بقى حتجينا
على بيتنا .. بالحب النجوم متجمعة
على بابنا شجرة ورد .. حلوة حلوة .. مفرعة
على شباك ألف شمعة .. مولعة .. مولعة
ويا حزن قول لي منين بقى حتجينا
روح .. يا حزن روح
روح يا حزن روح
روح .. يا حزن روح
يا حزن روح
روح يا حزن اوعى تقرب لينا
ده احنا حبايب .. حبنا ما هنينا
والحب روحنا وارضنا وسمانا
ويا حزن قول لي منين بقى حتجينا

يا عيون قلبي يا أحلى عيون
يلي نعيش وكفايا ظنون
يلا نخلي عمرنا كله
كله كله كله ليلة
ليلة .. ليلة .. ليلة
بعيدة .. بعيدة .. عن الحرمان .. عن الاحزان
عن الحرمان .. وعن الاحزان
وان لام حد علينا نقول له
وان لازم حد علينا نقول له
لولا الحب ما كان في الدنيا ولا انسان
لولا الحب ما كان في الدنيا ولا أنسان
ولا إنسان

كلمات: مرسي جميل عزيز
ألحان: محمد عبدالوهاب
تاريخ: 1977

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My mother

8/14/2016

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Palestinian poet laureate Mahmoud Darwish has an incredible way with the Arabic language. He has the ability to paint the Palestinian diaspora in poetic imagery that would soften the hardest of hearts. One of those poems is titled "I yearn for my mother's bread" and it has brought tears to my eyes many times while a “passport*” carrying nomad.
*check previous post about Darwish

I leave you with my amateur translation of the aforementioned poem

I yearn for my mother’s bread
And my mother’s coffee
And my mother’s touch
And childhood grows within me, day upon day
And I love my life because if I die
I would be shy
From my mother’s tears
Use me, if one day I return, as a scarf for your eye lashes
And cover my bones with grass that has been christened by the purity of your heel
And tighten my bond
With a lock of hair
By a strand that loosely hangs from the tail of your dress
Perhaps I shall become a deity, a deity I may become
If I am to touch the bottom of your heart!
Use me, if I may return, as fuel to your clay oven
A clothesline……up on the roof of your house
For I can no longer remain standing
Without your daily prayers
I have grown old, would you please bring back the childhood’s guiding stars
So I may join the little birds on their journey back
To your awaiting nest

I’ll admit that every time I listened to the song version of this poem, sung by Marcel Khalifeh- video below, my mind went to my mother and my childhood. As I grow older, listen more carefully and read more, I discover the deeper meaning of the poem. Darwish, with his poetic prowess, seamlessly transitions between that love he has for his mother and the love for his motherland of Palestine.

It all comes together in the line “and cover my bones with grass that has been christened by the purity of your heel”. This is where he declares his wish to be buried in his motherland of Palestine and to be covered by grass that was christened by simply being touched by his mother’s heel. Darwish was a Muslim and in this powerful image he brings together the many beauties of Palestine. The motherland, the strong Palestinian mother and the beautiful religions, exemplified here by christening, which have sprung from the Holy land that has unfortunately been rendered unholy by the merciless occupation. Darwish was buried in Texas in 2008.

أحنُ إلى خبز أمي
وقهوةِ أمي
ولمسةِ أمي ..

وتكبر فيَّ الطفولةُ
يوماً على صدر يومِ
و أعشق عمري لأني
إذا متُّ
أخجل من دمع أمي !

خذيني .. إذا عدتُ يوماً
وشاحاً لهدبكْ
وغطي عظامي بعشبٍ
تعمَّد من طهر كعبكْ
وشدِّي وثاقي..
بخصلة شعرٍ ..
بخيطٍ يلوِّح في ذيل ثوبك..
عساني أصيرُ إلهًا
إلهًا أصير ..
إذا ما لمستُ قرارة قلبك !

ضعيني إذا مارجعتُ
وقودا بتنور ناركْ
وحبل غسيل على سطح داركْ
لأني فقدت الوقوف
بدون صلاةِ نهاركْ

هرمتُ فردّي نجوم الطفولة
حتى اشاركْ
صغار العصافير ..
درب الرجوع ..
لعُشِّ إنتظارك

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The Passport

8/10/2016

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Arabic poetry is something that I have enjoyed all my life. There is something about it that captures a wide range of emotions and puts them into words that take the reader on a journey that is his/her own. I specify Arabic poetry because that is what I grew up with and that's what I cannot, no matter how hard I try, experience with English poetry. Nothing against English poetry but I just don't have the same background or understanding and hence the imagery does not translate well for me. I have always been interested however in trying to translate Arabic poems to English and the below is a rough translation of one of my favorite poems by the famous Palestinian poet Mahmoud Darwish. I tried to capture the emotions that are expressed in his lines but some might be lost in translation.
As you read this, you want to be in the frame of mind of a Palestinian. Meaning, one whose land has been stolen and now is holding a passport that is supposed to find him a refuge or a home somewhere. I hope the message comes across. Please let me know what you think if you happen to read this:

The passport
They did not recognize me in the shadows that usurped my color in the passport
And my wound to them was a gallery for a tourist who loves to collect pictures
They did not recognize me
Do not leave my palm without a sun
For the trees recognize who I am
And so do all the songs of the rain
Do not leave me pale as the moon
All the songbirds that followed my palm to the doors of the distant airport
All the wheat fields
All the prisons
All the white graveyards
All the borders
All handkerchiefs that waved
All the eyes
They were all with me
But they have dropped them from the passport
Without a name and without belonging?
To a soil that I have raised with my own hands?
Job screamed today filling up the skies
Do not make an example of me twice
Dear sirs, dear prophetic sirs
Do not ask the trees about their names
Do not ask the valleys about their mother
From my forehead a light shines
And from my hand gushes the river's water
Peoples' hearts are my nationality
So please unburden me from this passport

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Love the Palestinian Way

8/10/2016

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I live, through the drought, upon figs and olive oil*
And I wear your nakedness as a scented dress
And I build from the relics within your eyes a house
And I love you, alive. and I love you, dead,
And if I am hungry, I fill up on Zaatar**
And I wipe my face with your longing hair
So my dusted face would blush
and I am born in your palms, an infant
and I grow, and grow and get older
And when I am dragged, alone, to be whipped in humiliation
flogged by a whip at every police station
I feel that we are two lovers, who have died from infatuation
A dark skinned girl and a dark skinned boy
You become me and I become you
Delicious figs
Peeled almonds***
And when the soldiers crush my skull
and I am made to drink the coldness of jail
so I may forget you
I love you even more
I live, through the drought, upon figs and olive oil*
And I wear your nakedness as a scented dress
And I build from the relics within your eyes a house
And I love you, alive. and I love, dead,
And if I am hungry, I eat Zaatar**

*figs and olives are symbolic of Palestinian agriculture
** Zaatar- a stable in every palestinian diet (http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/zaatar-106776)
*** Peeled almonds are a treat

أعيشك في المحلِ تيناً وزيتاً.....
وألبسُ عريكِ ثوباً مُعطر
وأبني خرائب عينيكِ بيتاً
وأهواكِ حياً، وأهواك ميتاً..........
وإنْ جعت أقتاتُ زعترْ
وأمسح وجهي بشعركِ الملتاع..
ليحمرَ وجهي المغبرْ
وأولدُ في راحتيك جنيناً..
وأنمو وأنمو وأكبر
,,,,
وحين أساقُ وحيداً لأجلدَ في الذلِ...
أضرب بالسوطِ في كلِ مخفرْ
أحسُ بأنا حبيبانِ ماتا من الوجدِ
سمراءْ وأسمرْ
تصيرينني وأصيرك ِ
تيناً شهياً
لوزاً مقشرْ
,,,,
وحين يهشمُ رأسي الجنود...
وأشربُ بردَ السجون...
لأنساك ِ..
أهواكِ أكثر
أعيشكِ في المحلِ تيناً وزيتاً.....
وألبسُ عريكِ ثوباً معطر
وأبني خرائب عينيك بيتاً
وأهواكِ حياً، وأهواك ميتا..........
وإن جعت أقتات زعتر

The above is a powerful poem by Abdul-Latif Aqil that I attempted to translate I am sure some of the powerful imagery will be lost in translation. Here is the poem being sung by Kamilia Jubran

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Forward>>

lost in translation...

I sent my soul

Without a why من غير ليه

My mother

The Passport

Love the Palestinian Way

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